This weekend was my last day at the Academy of arts. I've been following a preparatory course down there for the past six months and Saturday I had an audition at the department of Fashion Design. This is the main raison why I wasn't able to post anything last week. But don't be afraid I did wear seven new unique outfits of course. Unfortunately I did not live up to their standards and I didn't got accepted. Obviously it made me question my talent and whether I should have a career in the fashion industry (as a designer) or not.
(Warning! This piece is written mainly for myself to write my thoughts down. It might be considered relatively boring for any other readers)
Last six months have been amazing. Every Saturday I traveled across the country, worked on several different art projects, I got to develop my talents, I met lots of new people and I learned so much. The feed-back I got throughout the courses was mainly positive, which made it even stranger that this woman judging my work (who had never seen any of my work and/or process before) told me that she couldn't see any talent in my work. It was such an awful way to end an amazing time at the academy. Naturally, I felt very down the last couple of days. I had a lot of thinking to do.
Am I good enough? Should I be going to an art academy? Am I the right person to work in fashion? Should I audition again next year? Should I audition at other academies? Why do I want this? What is it exactly that I want?
So much questions and very few answers. 
I firmly believe that everybody should follow their dream and that they should not let anybody stop them. You should always follow your passion and never stop doing the things that you love. On the other hand, we must always be realistic. There is a time where we all must see the reality of things and face the facts. Rejections are tough. Maybe we're just not that talented. We have to decide whether to follow our dreams or just be realistic and realize those dreams might never happen. 
The teachers we had the past half year, all said my work was quite good. 
The way I thought of things. How I worked out my ideas. The presentation of my work. Sadly, this Saturday, I got told that my work wasn't re-newing enough for fashion-design. Which, I must admit, it isn't. Me and my big fat passion for history and all things vintage are really standing in the way of my dreams. My dandy outfits are all very retro. In my opinion All art, and fashion is art, must be renewing and preferably revolutionary. Nobody likes to see things that are done already, decades before. Therefor I'm not entirely sure if I'm applying to another art academy.
Nonetheless, la mode, is and will always be my passion. I am highly fascinated by the way people dress themselves. The decisions people all around the world make in their wardrobe. The idea of wearing a piece of art on your own body into the streets. A new piece of art, every single day.
So I'm not giving up on my dream. Fashion is what I want. Whether I'm designing it, sewing it, wearing it, buying it, photographing it or reporting it. One should always learn from situations like these. I am prepared to fight for what I want. Here comes the good old cliché:
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

P.S. Yesterday was the final presentation of our so called "profielwerkstuk" at school. It was a nice distraction from all the sadness. Me and my dear partner made an Victiorian/Edwardian dress, entirely by ourselves. Completely following the rules of 1900 fashion. She's wearing the dress in the picture below. Hat, corset and underwear included. We had so much fun while making it and we had even more fun doing the presentation in front of an amazing crowd. We got a big fat 'A' for the result. Plus, the project turned out to be the start of a great friendship. I would really like to thank my Partner for being the best project-buddy one could ever wish for.  

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